Splitting of assets really complicates everything and coming to an agreement in which both parties are satisfied/content is also difficult. It’s like “I’ll only agree to do this, if you give me this, etc.” -____- Sigh.
Learned a little bit more about my dad and his upbringing and why he is the way he is today. Your past/upbringing really does influence who you become later on in life.
My dad is the 7th kid out of 8 kids. Times were very tough back then in Korea. I can only imagine what my dad and his family went through while growing up. They had very little to no money—it was always a struggle. They found a way to survive with what little money and stuff they had. One day during elementary school, my dad was asked by his teacher why he didn’t have this one school supply (it was relatively cheap…but to someone who has no money, that one “cheap thing” can be expensive). My dad responded by saying he has no money. His teacher then said, Your parents don’t have money?” And the answer was no, of course. And I guess my dad felt embarrassed and somewhat humiliated that he couldn’t afford one little measly thing. I mean who wouldn’t be.
He told me yesterday that from that point on while he was growing up, he always saved money, rarely spent it on anything. He even wanted to learn Tae Kwon Do (Korean martial arts), but he had no money for lessons and he would never ask his dad for money.
This being dirt poor upbringing really shaped the man that he is today. He told me, “I never want my kids and family to go through what I had to go through, so that is why I work hard and don’t spend my money, and that’s why I’m cheap, frugal.” He said, “But don’t be like me [in the cheap, frugal aspect], spend some money and live a little.”
His poor and broke upbringing also factored into his physical growth. Up until my dad’s younger brother was born, my dad was the youngest. And after his younger brother was born, he was obviously wasn’t the youngest. And in many families, the youngest is always treated a little better and given that little extra. Well in this case, my dad barely got any food and if he did, he always shared or gave it away. So obviously if you’re not eating well and getting the right nutrients, you are not going to grow. Hence my dad is the shortest out of all his brothers.
It’s hearing shit like that makes everything a million times worse right now. He worked his tail off for his family so that he can make us live comfortably, etc and then to have everything you worked and dreamed for fall apart, just makes everything so saddening.
And all this makes me realize, that I do have everything, I am spoiled, I take everything for granted…. If only I were in my dad’s shoes to experience what he went through, man, I would be a totally different person.