Job search is over (for now).

I have been offered a full-time a job at a finance company! 

It was long long process. One hell of a year, with a lot of ups and down, but a vast majority of downs. 

I think the breakdown I had a few weeks led to me this high I am at right now. I just broke down crying because I seriously felt like I was going no where in life, like I wasn’t making any progress at all and was just a complete utter failure. So I reached out to my Big Sis to talk things out and Guru Suzy came to the rescue. I talked things out with her about where I stand in life and she gave me some good tips. 

I then got a phone call to come in for an interview for this job and I asked my best friend for some interview pointers and boy did it help. I walked out of that interview the next day feeling good. That was the first interview where I actually came out feeling really good and thought that I would have legit shot. And what do you know, I got another the call the next day to come in for a second interview. Thought the second interview went well too. Now it was was just a waiting game of hearing their final decision….yes or no. Waiting is seriously the most difficult thing ever. I was literally checking my phone every 5 minutes to see if I got the email or not. Then at 2PM I get an email with the title “Finance One-Offer Documents”. I was so fucking happy, but I had to contain myself as I was at work and didn’t want to burst the news yet. But I will be giving my 2 weeks notice tomorrow. I don’t know how they will respond but, I gotta move on to bigger and better things. 

And I want to thank my friends for being there for me through this past year.  It wasn’t the best year, but sometimes you have to reach your low point to get right back up. But god bless ya’ll for always being so encouraging and giving tips here and there and for just always being there! Much love to ya’ll! <3 :D 

I’m happy. I don’t think I’ve been this excited in a long time. And I gotta say this is the best early birthday present ever! Gonna start my 23rd year of life on a good note! :D 

I love having a car, but I really hate how much money goes into maintaining it. 

I just got my oil changed, and they did a inspection of my brakes because it made some squeaky noise. Turns out my brake pads AND rotors are worn out. So right now its the metal to metal grinding thats causing the squeaky noise. It’s actually my fault though…I’ve been hearing that noise, but I just ignored it. So now I have to spend more money because I have to the get rotors changed too, not just the brake pads. -______-

Called the dealer to make an appointment and little did I know that the Honda Civics had faulty sun visors. Of course there would be some kind court case for this. People sue for anything and everything these days. Had I not called, I would’ve never known. In fact, my sun visor is defective—it’s splitting/cracking. I just thought it was mine, so like I always do I just ignored it. But I am getting it replaced for free, since I’m still under the warranty for this recall or whatever it is. 

And I still need to tint the windows. I’m dying from the heat and my car being way too hot.

Ah, the joys of having a car. 

SD Weekend Trip.

  • Traffic is not the business. 4 hours and 15 mins to get to the SD from Santa Monica. -______- 
  • I love my Big. That is all. Don’t know where I would be without her. We goof around, but there are times we talk about real shit. 
  • I don’t think I’ve ever experienced something like that at the club where I was approached by one guy who was touching my arm asking me to dance with him, and then comes a long another guy grabbing my other arm so that I can talk to him or whatever. I felt a bit flattered (who wouldn’t if a guy approaches you), but that flattered feeling quickly turned into a negative feeling. I felt like I was fucking being attacked like an animal…ya know, like I was being preyed upon. -___- Both guys were short as fuck anyways. No chance. And two, I have a boyfriend now. And three, if me and my Big both said I have a boyfriend, it’s a cue for you to back he fuck off. I don’t get why you ask questions and linger around. Thirsty ass niggas.
  • The Mexican food in SD though. BOMB DOT COM. 
  • This trip really made me want to go on more road trips with my friends. 
  • I love my group of girls. They keep me sane and grounded. Blessed to have them in my life.
  • Thank you security guard for noticing that I don’t look like the weight that’s on my ID. He was like, “You don’t look 120, you look like 110.” HAHA. Close enough, I weigh like 103-105.
  • Speaking of weight, is my weight loss that noticeable and dramatic? LOL. The secret to losing all this weight? Eating less. But don’t lose weight the way I did. It’s really bad. You have to exercise. I did zero exercise whatsoever. Yeah I may look fit/skinny, etc. BUT, I have no strength, stamina whatsoever. Lose weight the proper way. I did it the worst way possible. 

I like that my family is giving me advice/trying to help me out with my future and whatnot, but JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I know they’re looking out for my best interest, but let me do me. If I turn out to be a big fat fucking failure in life, then so be it. I’m not the one to usually ask for help. I like to figure out things out on my own. I’m sure something will come about at the right time. But right now, I’m sick and tired of having my family members on my fucking jock. Maybe, I’m just being irrational and being a moody ass bitch or something. BUT LET ME DO ME. 

If I had a decent amount of money saved up right now, I would so move out. But 1) I don’t and 2) I’m sure it will make my dad even more depressed as fuck given the whole divorce situation right now. 

IDK. I think I’m just being bitch. 

I just want to escape everything. Thank god for the San Diego trip this weekend. 

SIGH. ALL THE FEELS.

Splitting of assets really complicates everything and coming to an agreement in which both parties are satisfied/content is also difficult. It’s like “I’ll only agree to do this, if you give me this, etc.” -____- Sigh.

Learned a little bit more about my dad and his upbringing and why he is the  way he is today. Your past/upbringing really does influence who you become later on in life.

My dad is the 7th kid out of 8 kids. Times were very tough back then in Korea. I can only imagine what my dad and his family went through while growing up. They had very little to no money—it was always a struggle. They found a way to survive with what little money and stuff they had. One day during elementary school, my dad was asked by his teacher why he didn’t have this one school supply (it was relatively cheap…but to someone who has no money, that one “cheap thing” can be expensive). My dad responded by saying he has no money. His teacher then said, Your parents don’t have money?” And the answer was no, of course. And I guess my dad felt embarrassed and somewhat humiliated that he couldn’t afford one little measly thing. I mean who wouldn’t be. 

He told me yesterday that from that point on while he was growing up, he always saved money, rarely spent it on anything. He even wanted to learn Tae Kwon Do (Korean martial arts), but he had no money for lessons and he would never ask his dad for money. 

This being dirt poor upbringing really shaped the man that he is today. He told me, “I never want my kids and family to go through what I had to go through, so that is why I work hard and don’t spend my money, and that’s why I’m cheap, frugal.” He said, “But don’t be like me [in the cheap, frugal aspect], spend some money and live a little.” 

His poor and broke upbringing also factored into his physical growth. Up until my dad’s younger brother was born, my dad was the youngest. And after his younger brother was born, he was obviously wasn’t the youngest. And in many families, the youngest is always treated a little better and given that little extra. Well in this case, my dad barely got any food and if he did, he always shared or gave it away. So obviously if you’re not eating well and getting the right nutrients, you are not going to grow. Hence my dad is the shortest out of all his brothers. 

It’s hearing shit like that makes everything a million times worse right now. He worked his tail off for his family so that he can make us live comfortably, etc and then to have everything you worked and dreamed for fall apart, just makes everything so saddening. 

SIGH. *CRYING*

And all this makes me realize, that I do have everything, I am spoiled, I take everything for granted…. If only I were in my dad’s shoes to experience what he went through, man, I would be a totally different person.

:(

Ignorance is bliss.

Found out more shit about my mom and dad and this whole divorce situation. Not pretty at all.

I’m not gonna think the worst of my mom and won’t believe anything until I have full legit proof and I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.

On another note, might go see a therapist with my dad. I only suggested we go together because my dad won’t go on his own, and he needs help. Sigh.

Seriously, life throws you curveballs, but damn this is ONE SHITTY CURVEBALL that I’ve never expected. 

my life right now…

  • These past few months of my life have been something else. From meeting a guy on some social dating whatever app to my parents getting a divorce… JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY. 
  • I think I’m channeling all this feels, emotions, whatever its called by going out, spending money, buying things I don’t even need. SMH. CC bill for this upcoming month is gonna be over $500 again. Sigh.

My visit to the motherland.

This is going to be one long post.

  • DRIVING. 1) Drivers have no regard for others besides themselves, not even pedestrians. 2) They use their horn like no tomorrow. Usually Americans use their horn if someone did a dangerous maneuver or if you’re one of those who just like to pinpoint someone’s wrong doing and honk at them. 3) It’s okay to stop way over the crosswalk and have the front of your car peeking in the middle of the intersection 4) It’s also okay to run a red light (as long as no cars are coming from the other direction). 5) It’s okay to stop and park anywhere as you please (even in there are “No parking” signs) 6) IDK why, but every time a driver a comes to stop, whether it’s at a red light or sitting in traffic, they shift their gear into Neutral all the time. Don’t know what the purpose of that is. 7) Some of the streets or should I call them alleys are so tiny, that only 1 car can pass through at a time as their are cars parked on both sides. 8) Learning to park with your butt in first is a must. 9) KOREAN DRIVERS ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND I WOULD NOT WANT TO DRIVE THERE.  Here’s a link of a video to see some of the shit Korean  drivers do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kajEy8Yt-0o
  • RESTROOMS. I guess Koreans don’t use toilet seat covers in their public restrooms. The only time I did see a bathroom that uses seat covers was at the airport, which happened to be pretty cool, haha. But I really am curious as to why they don’t use seat covers. And thank god I didn’t have to use those squatting, toilet in the floor restrooms, haha. 
  • MONEY. The prices you see on things such as at the markets, menus, etc is the amount you will pay. Say for example, pizza costs $10; you will then only pay $10. The tax is already included the price. And you also don’t tip taxi drivers, waitresses, delivery men, etc. You just pay the amount that you see. I guess thats a good thing?
  • WEATHER. You would think that it would be cold because it looks cloudy/gloomy, but little did I know it was actually warm because of the damn humidity. Humidity is gross. I appreciate this dry, low humidity SoCal weather. The summer time is the worst because on top of rain it’s also humid, which makes it so unbearable and disgusting. 
  • PEOPLE. All them girls are skinny minis with some plastic surgery done. My younger cousin doesn’t look like what she really looks due to her plastic surgery. SMH. It’s such a shame. My other younger cousin had surgery done too, but it’s not as drastic as the other one. She’s still recognizable haha. And also couples here like to match—clothes, shoes…you name it. Kinda seems cheesy and makes me want to barf, haha.
  • TO BE CONTINUED….  (can’t think right now)