So after thinking and talking it over with some friends, I may call it quits or ask for some space/time. I’ll probably do the latter.
I just think we are on two different paths. I’m finally starting my life, and he’s going through some weird uncertain phase. And I really disagree with his pursuit of poker playing; there’s just too much instability with relying on poker to make a living. I know he told me to be by his side and support his decisions for the next few months or so, but I don’t know if I can handle the stress of it. Hearing that you lost $2000+ in a span of 6 hours from poker playing when you don’t have income coming in is very worrisome. I don’t know how much he thinks $2000 is, but to me it’s a lot. Of course it’s good news if you win, but what are the chances that you will come up and win all the time. It’s not about the money or him being unemployed, it’s the fact that he’s choosing to pursue poker while being unemployed. That’s my problem. Of course he can do what he wants as it is not my money. And no, I’m not worried that he won’t be able to pay for stuff when we go out. I pay for things as well when we go out.
I just don’t think we have the same outlook about life and the future, careers, etc. He lives for the now/the moment, instead of the future. As much as you want to do things that you couldn’t before, you still gotta think about the future and make careful decisions. I would love to live for the moment as well, hell I would spend all my savings to just travel! But that’s just not realistic right now.
At this point, I feel like I’m just in a meaningless relationship, as bad as it sounds. I honestly feel like I’m not getting anything out of it.
I would think that when you reach your late 20’s you would have a little bit of your life figured out or have your shit together, but clearly not all people are like that. Or maybe I’m just fucking psycho and have crazy expectations. LOL. I don’t know.
NOW. My only problem is when do I tell him? I’ll most likely be seeing him this Sunday when he comes back from Vegas (again -____-), or wait until after the 6th aka his 28th birthday.
And honestly, I don’t want to date a gambler. That’s all. And let alone a guy who got fired from his job. It’s one thing to hate your job, but at least don’t get fired. Like seriously?! Goes on to show what his true work ethic is like. It’s a good thing my parents don’t know about him because they will not be happy when they ask of what does he do? My answer: Oh he gambles and he just got fired from his job. YEAH. NO WAY. HAHA. And my momma told me to never ever date a gambler, cause it will create problems. LOL. And look at where I am now, hahaha. Momma knows best.
Clearly if I’m ranting and writing all this shit, it’s not meant to be. But of course, I need to talk to him first before making some sort of decision.
This shit is long, LOL. If you made it this far, I applaud you. Thank you for reading my rant or whatever this is.